Who Am I?

There are many answers to the question, “Who am I?” Philosophically, one may say there is no individual “I” at all, only “I am That.” Po from Kung Fu Panda might say, “I am everything. For me, I truly don't know who I am. What is my place in this world? Why am I here? What actions would help me feel a true sense of purpose or contentment?

After my undergrad, I told my panel of selectors for my MBA course that I am going to be a business tycoon. I will develop a robotics lab and start a company where all tech people can put their heads together and innovate. (Of course, I had just finished reading Isaac Asimov ) I even prepared an elaborate business plan from financial statements, infrastructure, procurement, marketing to recruitment that I would present to the venture capitalists. I quickly discovered that I neither had the desire nor the inclination to proceed with my proposals. It was a good plan, but then it would have been my only action in my whole life. So no, thank you. Early on, I realized there must be far more important things in life than just dedicating my life to my ideas.

Then, gently or rather like a hammer on my head, I got married, and I had my first baby in my arms. That changed everything. Unbeknownst to me, I automatically changed my goals, prioritising my child's upbringing. And planned to have another baby within 3 years. (Because I don't want my two children to have too much of an age gap, I wanted them to be close to each other.) My husband and I were very clear that we would have only two children. Not more, not less.

By then, I had clearly decided that a corporate job was not for me because I could not compromise my time with my children. They were too precious to me. I put my children in the local play school for nursery, but they never really learned much there. My elder child had finished grade 1, and my younger one was about to start school. At this point, we got an opportunity to go to Toronto because of my husband's deputation.

First day of school. The school had an orientation for parents. As I entered my younger child’s classroom, Ms Miligan welcomed us with a warm smile. She told us that although it was her daughter's birthday and she had to be at her party, she was very happy to be with us parents and meet her new children. She showed us around and told us how the curriculum would be taught. The entire approach to teaching felt new to me. And I was awestruck with the class setup, different work stations, the smart board, basically everything. Ms Miligan was patient and took time to explain to us naive parents everything. At that moment, I remember admiring her commitment to being a teacher and performing to the best of her abilities even through late evening. By the time the orientation was concluded, it was well past 8:30 at night.

As my kids started their school routine, I wanted to spend more time at the school, and I volunteered to participate in the school activities. I just loved the science fair week, dance week, and all the experiments children were given options to do. The classrooms were filled with interesting children’s workstations, had colourful classroom walls, hands-on learning, and the warmth of the teacher. Every opportunity sparked curiosity, excitement, and learning in me, just as it did in the children. I began to look forward to any voluntary requirements from the school, even if it meant serving juice to students on sports activity days. I noticed that there were very few absentees, and children walked into the school with zeal and enthusiasm. Even on the worst snow and cold days.

And that is when I discovered my interest in becoming a teacher. Once we came back to India, I did my teacher training certification, and it has been a wonderful journey ever since as an educator.

I am still discovering who I am. But along this wonderful discovery trail, I have learned that I can wear many hats: a passionate educator, an affectionate mother, a loving wife, and still get to discover more! How exciting is that?

I have already started learning Spanish. I do aspire to play the guitar. I do dream of travelling to new destinations.

I now realize that perhaps the answer to “Who am I?” is never meant to be fixed. Perhaps we discover ourselves continuously through the lives we live, the people we love, and the things that continue to awaken wonder within us.